Our Journey

our experiences

Kangana

Written By: Ruchi - Feb• 01•15

Early morning on the day of the wedding, bride wears the toe nails brought by her Mama. Then Kangna is tied in her left hand. Kangna is basically kalava, which is tied around the hand. Then seven married women tie seven knots in the thread, one knot each. The mother gives 4 laddoos each to each of the women. Kangna is tied to Groom too. All this happens in the same room where most other ceremonies are performed. Both bride and groom need to be fasting for this ceremony, which is not a problem because this happens early in the morning.

Kangana
These days a lot of readymade kangana threads are available in the market like above. If that’s not available, the plain kalava thread can be used too.
Kangana
How is it performed
After the wedding, both bride and groom take turns to open the knots in each others’ kangana. The belief is that whosoever is able to open more knots, will have the upper hand in the marital life. Of course these are just various fun games to break the ice between the two. Nowadays, since they already know each other well, it is just a fun activity.

Wedding Mehndi

Written By: Ruchi - Feb• 01•15

The day before the wedding, on both sides the mehndi ceremony takes place.

Mehndi
How is it performed

Mehndi is supposed to be auspicious in all Indian celebrations, especially a wedding. Bride’s palms and feet are decorated with Mehndi and the other girls in the family also put mehndi on their hands. It is customary to put a little bit of mehndi in groom’s hands too.

Of course music and dance are part of all ceremonies but there is no formal rule about it.

Ladies Sangeet

Written By: Ruchi - Feb• 01•15

No Indian ceremony is complete without dance and music. Ladies Sangeet is the celebration of the upcoming wedding, in which they sing songs for the bride and the groom.

How is it performed

Traditionally, all the women in the family or neighborhood gather two three days before the wedding and sing the wedding songs and dance on it. Dholak is an essential part of this evening.

Sangeet
Nowadays, instead of singing songs, they just play the bollywood music and dance on it. Towards the end, men are also invited and everyone is served snacks and drinks.

Sagai

Written By: Ruchi - Nov• 26•14

Traditionally Sagai is held a few months before the wedding but these days it takes place around the wedding itself because relatives don’t like to come too many times from far away. Sagai is performed at a place arranged by groom’s family. Groom’s family takes care of all the arrangements like lunch/dinner/snacks depending on the time of the ceremony. Traditionally from bride’s side, only bride’s Chacha, brother and kids go for the ceremony but nowadays the whole of bride’s family goes.

How is it performed

Bride’s family takes with them whatever gifts they want to give to the new couple including any furniture. Tradition is to also give at least 11 thaal (big steel plates) and 1 paraat (a vessel to knead the dough) filled with sweets and boondi laddus but nowadays since these big vessels are not used in a modern kitchen people avoid it and the sweets are packed in boxes since that’s more convenient. At least 11 kg of sweets and 20 kg of laddus are given along with all sorts of dry fruits. Clothes for groom, groom’s father and groom’s younger siblings are also given. It’s also a tradition to give some toys for toddlers.

Gifts from Bride's side
Bride’s brother performs Tilak to groom with roli, rice, coconut and sweets. Gifts like gold chain, watch, ring, cash etc. are also given at this time.
Tilak
Groom’s family sends back at least 4 sarees, jewelry as per ones desire and a makeup kit for the bride. Clothes for younger siblings and sweets are also sent back for the bride’s family.

Return Gifts

Rokna

Written By: Ruchi - Nov• 25•14
What is Rokna

Rokna is a Hindi word, which means stopping. Through this ceremony, the bride’s family stops groom’s search for the bride. It’s the official agreement between both the families to marry their children.

How is it performed

Traditionally, bride’s family goes to the groom’s house and bride’s father performs Tilak to the groom with Roli and Rice.

Rokna
Bride’s father also gives nariyal (raw coconut), sweets and some cash to the groom with the Tilak.
Then bride’s father gives Milni to groom’s family.  Milni means Introduction. Milni is a way for bride’s parents to show their gratitude to groom’s family and it’s performed only once when bride’s family meets the groom’s family for the first time. Milni is given in decorated envelopes with some cash in it as per ones desire. The amount of cash given to each family member depends on the hierarchy of the family, groom’s parents being on the top of the hierarchy, then the immediate siblings, then rest of the family members and then the children. Both sides also exchange sweets, which is distributed to the family members attending the ceremony.
Nowadays, both families (including extended family) gather at one place, generally arranged by bride’s side. They perform Tilak as explained above and then bride and groom also exchange rings. Then everyone is served snacks and drinks, again generally arranged by bride’s side.